To Where You Are
by melody425
Summary: A GSR songfic, To Where You Are by Josh Groban in Sara's perspective. Warning: Main Character death. Please review! I do not own any of the CSI characters, any of Josh Groban's songs or any other affiliations.


"_To Where you Are"- Josh Groban_

_Who can say for certain  
Maybe you're still here  
I feel you all around me  
Your memories so clear_

It feels just like yesterday, that you and I were decorating the nursery for our unborn child. We laughed as you chased me around the room with the paintbrush covered in blue paint. After a full 10 minutes of playful wrestling you managed to get some paint on my t-shirt over my expanding stomach.

I can't believe you're gone. I feel as if I should be able to walk into your office and see you, not Catherine. I should see all of your bugs, not pictures of Lindsay. I have dreams that seem so real, dreams of when I used to lean on your door frame and we'd have our usual discussion of where to go for dinner, but that can't happen anymore.

_Deep in the stillness  
I can hear you speak  
You're still an inspiration  
Can it be?  
That you are mine  
Forever love  
And you are watching over me from up above_

When I lay my head on your old pillow, I can still hear you say goodnight to me and feel your arms wrap around me, but in a second it's gone. I miss your warmth.

I wish I could talk to you about certain cases, or even call you the way you used to do when I was in San Francisco. Whenever I hit a road block in a case, I always think, "What would Grissom do?" I can't ask you now though, can I? I know you're probably up there watching me with all the answers, but there's no way for us to communicate anymore.

_Fly me up to where you are  
Beyond the distant star  
I wish upon tonight  
To see you smile  
If only for awhile to know you're there  
A breath away's not far  
To where you are_

I wish I could visit you in heaven. I know when we were together, I said I didn't believe in god or heaven, but your death has changed me completely. Why does heaven have to be so far away? I just want to kiss you one last time, hold you one last time, and have one last family embrace with our daughter.

_  
Are you gently sleeping  
Here inside my dream  
And isn't faith believing _

_All power can't be seen_

In some dreams, I just watch you sleep. I hope in heaven you're sleeping peacefully. Actually, I know in heaven you're sleeping peacefully because you aren't in pain anymore.

_  
As my heart holds you  
Just one beat away  
I cherish all you gave me everyday  
'Cause you are mine  
Forever love  
Watching me from up above_

Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I watch our daughter sleep. I wish you could see her Gil. She's growing up so fast. In a year she'll be going into Middle School. You know, she's the best gift you ever could have given me. She misses you. She's afraid you left because you didn't love her anymore, but I explained that you will love us forever and that you will always watch over us.

_  
And I believe  
That angels breathe  
And that love will live on and never leave_

I believe that one day you and I will be reunited and then many years away, we will be reunited with our little girl. I do wonder though, when you die, do you become an angel? I hope you did because I always felt like you were my angel, even when you were on earth. I wish you hadn't had to leave, but I know it was God's will and that you still love me even all the way up in heaven.

_  
Fly me up  
To where you are  
Beyond the distant star  
I wish upon tonight  
To see you smile  
If only for awhile  
To know you're there  
A breath away's not far  
To where you are_

I dream of the day that I will be together with you again. We will have our own little paradise where we can feel safe and simply love one another. Until that day comes though, I am content watching our little girl grow up and become a woman. She's already decided to name one of her future children after you. It will be odd for our daughter's daughter to not have known her amazing grandpa.

_  
I know you're there  
A breath away's not far  
To where you are_

I feel and know you're here with me, guiding me. I can tell that you send me little messages from time to time, through songs I hear on the radio or how the evidence I really need for a case magically appears.

I miss you, I always will, but I know that someday we will be together again, and I will cherish that moment in my heart always.


End file.
